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caramel oatmeal cake from Tarqness
chinese pepper steak ala Gabby Doll
chinese spareribs as cooked by GemDragyn
coca-cola® glazed ham prepared by Chinchilla
Gabby Doll's caesar dressing
Miss Ruby's creamed onions
Ollie's bachelor stew
Wichee's~ chocolate cheese cake


1 cup regular or quick-cooking oats
1 1/2 cups boiling water
1/2 cup (1/4 lb) butter or margarine, softened
1 cup each granulated sugar and firmly packed brown sugar
2 Tablespoons molasses
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon each baking soda and ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Prepare a 9-inch square baking pan by greasing and dusting with flour.

Place oats in a bowl and pour in boiling water; let cool to lukewarm.  In another bowl, cream butter and gradually beat in granulated sugar and brown sugar.  Mix in molasses, eggs and oats.

In a third bowl, stir together flour, baking soda, cinnamon, salt and nutmeg.  Add to oats mixture and beat until smooth.  Spread evenly in prepared pan and bake for 50 minutes until center springs back when lightly touched.

Caramel topping

6 Tablespoons butter or margarine
3/4 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
3 Tablespoons half and half (light cream)
1 cup flaked coconut
1 cup walnuts, chopped

In a 2-3 quart pan, combine 6 Tablespoons butter or margarine, 3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar, and 3 Tablespoons half and half (light cream); stir over medium heat until butter is melted.  Add 1 cup each flaked coconut and chopped walnuts.  Bring to a boil, stirring; continue boiling and stirring for 1 minute.

Remove cake from oven and immediately spread it with topping.

Turn oven to broil and place pan about 4 inches below heat until topping is browned and bubbly. about 3 minutes.  Let cool on a rack before cutting.

Makes 12 servings

Webmaster's note:  If you are currently on any type of diet program, do not attempt to even smell this cake.  Doing so has been known to cause spontaneous combustion due to calorie overload.

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1 pound flank or chuck steak, sliced into small thin pieces
2 green peppers, seeded and cut in pieces
1 Tablespoon corn starch
2 Tablespoons soy sauce
2 Tablespoons dry sherry (you may drink the rest of the bottle while cooking)
2 Tablespoons sugar
4 Tablespoons vegetable oil
1 clove garlic, minced (I use the one that comes already minced in a jar. 1 clove = about 1/2 teaspoon)
1 packet George Washington broth
1 cup cold water
salt and pepper to taste

Heat 2 Tablespoons oil in a skillet and stir fry the meat.  After about 2 minutes, remove meat from pan and set aside.

Heat the other 2 Tablespoons of oil.  Add garlic and green pepper and stir fry for another 2 minutes.

Return meat to skillet.  Add sugar, broth, soy sauce, salt and pepper.  Combine corn starch and water.  Pour into skillet.  Cook a few minutes until the sauce thickens.  Add sherry.  Serve with rice.

Serves 4

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CHINESE SPARERIBS as cooked by GemDragyn

In honor of the Year Of The Dragon, here's a recipe for tangy barbecue spareribs with an Oriental flavor.  Note that the hoisin sauce called for is dark, salty, and sweet; it's a frequently used flavoring in Chinese cooking.  If your store doesn't have it, you can find it at an Oriental or specialty grocery.  This amount of spareribs will yield about 24 ribs.

5 pounds spareribs
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tablespoons catsup
2 Tablespoons soy sauce
2 Tablespoons hoisin sauce
2 Tablespoons red wine
1 Tablespoon grated fresh ginger, or 1 teaspoon dried ginger
1 Tablespoon honey

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

Cut spareribs into individual ribs.  Place on a rack in a baking pan; bake 45 minutes.

Combine remaining ingredients in a small bowl to make a sauce.  Brush this sauce lightly onto spareribs.  Roast ribs another 30 minutes.  Turn ribs and brush them with sauce.  Bake another 30 minutes, until well browned.

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COCA-COLA® GLAZED HAM prepared by Chinchilla

6-8 pound ham
1/3 to 1/2 can Coca-Cola® (4-6 ounces)

Chinchilla's note:  Do not us Pepsi® or Dr. Pepper® as they don't work quite as well.  For a different flavoring, you may substitute Orange Crush®.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Wrap the ham in foil.  Before closing the foil, pour the Coca-cola® over the ham, wetting it well.

Bake for about 40 minutes, then open the foil and baste the ham with the drippings in the foil.  Close the foil and continue baking for another 20 to 30 minutes.

Remove from the oven and let stand wrapped in the foil for 5 minutes.  Remove foil, baste the ham, then slice and serve.

This method puts a nice color to the ham, as well as making a good glaze that isn't overly sweet.

Serves 6 to 8

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1 clove minced garlic
1 small can anchovy fillets (6-8)
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup corn oil
2 heaping Tablespoons grated parmesan cheese
2 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 egg yolk
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1/8 teaspoon ground pepper
1 large head of Romaine lettuce

In a blender or food processor liquefy the first nine ingredients to make the dressing.  Tear the lettuce into bite-sized pieces (never use a knife on lettuce) and place in a bowl.  Pour the dressing over Romaine and toss.  Sprinkle croutons on top.

Webmaster's note:  Gabby Doll neglected to check the back of the bottle of Wishbone before discarding it to see how many this serves.  Go figure :)

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1 pound boiling onions - cover with water and cook gently to tender, but not to fall apart. doneness, about 10 minutes.  Set aside and make white sauce.

In a saucepan, melt 1/4 stick of butter and add 1 1/2 Tablespoons flour.  Combine thoroughly.  Slowly add 1 cup hot milk, stir and cook to smooth and creamy consistancy.  Add salt to taste.

Drain the onions thoroughly, place them in a serving dish and pour the sauce over them.  A few cracker crumbs sprinkled on top adds interest.  Grated cheese or strips of pimento may be added also.

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2 pounds ground beef
expired milk
canned green beans
old carrots
tomato sauce
Lebonese blond hash and whiskey
one large Tim Russert  potato (you may substitute one large Quayle Potatoe)
six Budweisers.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  The stew does not require baking, but the oven makes the kitchen hot, which makes you sweat and gives the illusion that  you're doing some real cooking.

In a large greasy skillet, burn 2 pounds of ground beef until it has the consistency of a charcoal briquet.

Soak the beans in one Budweiser for two weeks prior to using.  Drink the other five.

Cut the potato in half, then into quarters, then into eights, then into  sixteenths, thirty-seconds, sixty-fourths.  Continue like this until you have an Avogadro's Number of  tiny potato molecules on your cutting board.

Stir the expired milk with a carrot.

Add all those items and the meat to a crock pot.  To be sure you have the correct cooking  appliance, look at the instruction booklet.  If it says that you can easily make any number of exotic dishes then it's a crock.

Borrow your neighbor's can opener and open the tomato sauce and green beans.  Cook in a sauce pan until the volume of the liquid is reduced in half, or until the handle melts, whichever comes first.  Add rice, garlic and fennel.

A variation of this stew uses a touch of pumice  or perhaps farfel instead of fennel.  This is up to the individual bachelor.

Add the whiskey and light it with a match.  Allow the alcohol to burn off completely.  Always be sure to remember to thank the firemen for their quick response and swift action to control the kitchen fire.

Mow the lawn, saving the grass clippings and leaves.  Dig up some dirt, discarding any earthworms.  Add everything to the crock pot and turn it on.  Cook for about the length of a baseball game, or 12 hours, whichever is shortest.

Smoke the Lebonese blond hash and dig in.

Recipe serves one person for two weeks, or two people for one week.  Keep refrigerated and away from children.

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(Save up those fat grams for this one!)

1 pound Semi-sweet chocolate (melted)
6- 8 oz. packages cream cheese (softened)
6 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
1 capful dark spiced rum (optional)


3 packages Pepperidge Farm brownies (crushed fine)
3/4 stick of margarine (melted)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Combine cookies and margarine and press into a 10-inch spring-form pan. Bake for 5 minutes, then allow to cool.

This size cake will yield as many as 16 servings, as the cake is very rich.  Depending on the number of people you are hosting, you may want to cut the recipe in half and use an 8-inch pan.

Wichee's~ note:  If the brownies are unavailable, any crispy chocolate cookie will do, even chocolate snaps.

Change oven temperature to 425 degrees.

Cream the cream cheese and eggs together; slowly, adding 2 eggs and 2 packages of cream cheese at a time.  I use a good silver fork to do this.  Add the cooled melted chocolate and mix well.  Stir up from the bottom to make sure the chocolate is evenly blended.  Stir in sugar and rum.

Pour mixture into the cooled crust and bake for 35 minutes.  Allow to cool in the oven with the door ajar.

Keep refrigerated until ready to serve.  Serve with rum cherry sauce on the side.

Rum cherry sauce

1 bag frozen bing cherries
1 jar black cherry preserves
1/2 cup dark spiced rum

Combine all ingredients in a sauce pan and bring to a boil.  Remove from heat and let cool.  Serve well chilled.

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